I didn't even see it coming.

It just hit me--WHAM!--just like that with no head's up. No warning.

I knew this day would get here eventually, but I didn't expect it to be here this fast. I mean, shouldn't they send you some sort of paper warning you that it's coming? Even the government sends you tax forms.

Today, I officially became the mom of a teenager. Pick me up of the floor.

Today, my baby turned 13.

Just yesterday she had grown out of kids' shoes and into the women's section. And I could've sworn it was only last month that she was a preschooler drawing me pictures of things I couldn't recognize....or was the cute little thing with fat rolls that would fall asleep on my chest...or was the 3-year-old whose dimples would throw a fit for princess snacks at the grocery store.

And now....

Now she is this young, independent woman. She no longer needs me to help her up on a step-stool to get her Cheerios in the morning or put her hair up into a ponytail. She does it all by herself. And somewhere along the line, she taught herself how to get up on her own in the mornings -- I no longer sneak into her room and rub her face until she starts to giggle. She's developed all of these amazing relationships with her peers and her own personality at the same time.

She's outgoing and yet can be reserved. She can be timid and out of control. She's incredibly kind-hearted and has such a soft soul. She lights up a room just by walking into it. And her smile could melt concrete like some form of Superhero kryptonite.

There is no way God could have given me a better kid in her. She is laid back and eager to please. She sets an incredible example for her younger brothers and sister (most of the time). =) She helps out when it's not expected and tries her absolute hardest when it IS expected.

I tell Chris all the time about my excitement watching our kids grow up. What will they become in their adult lives? What profession will they get into? What dreams will they follow?

I'm sure I'll blink my eyes and I'll be sitting at their college graduation ceremony. Time seems to go that fast some days. Against my will and all.

Happy birthday sweet girl.

Reck, Table for 6

When I was scouring through the images of the past year for my Year In Review post, I realized that I had never shared the pictures of our First Ever Photo Session As A Family.

Major fail as a mom. And a bigger fail as a photographer.

The question I CONTINUOUSLY get about my job/home life is "Who photographs the photographer's family?" And it's a good question really. I mean, most of the time a 10 second timer and a mad dash gets me something that will suffice, but where do you turn when you want to be serious about it?! Who do you trust with something like that?

Being a photographer myself, there are a select few fellow photographers that I look to for inspiration. They keep me creative and help me develop my own style. I found Katie and Brandon of Bungalow Photography a few years ago . I can't remember how I stumbled upon them, but after one quick read of their blog, I was hooked. I loved their style. I loved everything about their work. I loved Katie's curly hair and how simply sweet they were.

I knew when Chris and I got engaged that I wanted Katie and Brandon to photograph the day. And then, as that turned into a much less Big To-Do into a more intimate just-the-six-of-us thing, I decided to skimp on the wedding day pictures (I know!! I just said "skimp on pictures"!) and go all-out for our first family session. So, one day in June I relinquished my photographic control-freakiness, sat back and just enjoyed being a client.

I wasn't sure how it would work out -- me letting go and just letting be. I mean, I'm used to the Rule of Thirds, composition, and flow. How am I going to survive a couple hours without seeing the LCD screen of my little clan? Will I be able to function without zooming in to see if our eyes are in focus?

We met Katie and Brandon at this funky, retro diner in Fountain Square in Indianapolis. Where my messiest eater decided to get barbecue ribs for dinner. What. Was. I. Thinking. For the life of me, I cannot figure out how we got out of that place unscathed (and unsauced), but we did. And from there, we strolled around this awesome neighborhood. It was the quaintest little place I've ever been. The buildings were full of character with their worn walls and peeling paint, old metal stairs and perfect doorways. We tucked into alleys, lined up along buildings, and sat in a row on the curb. Perfect. I didn't want formal poses and we weren't all in matchy-matchy outfits. I wanted our personalities to shine thru.

And they did. Just as I imagined.

As a mom to these kids, and a wife to their dad, it's easy for me to see what it is about each one of them that I adore. I love Taylor's giddiness. I love Brenden's soft-spoken ways. I love Harley's goofiness. And I love how Bryce is happy for no apparent reason. I love how Chris laughs at Family Guy when he's the only one in the room. I love that we just "get" each other. I love our inside jokes. I love us just being.

When I look at these pictures, I can see that. To feel that love between each other is one thing, but to see it -- and have others see it -- is incredible. I sent Katie a text when I received my disc of images and told her "I always knew what it felt like to love my family, but now I know what it looks like." My heart implodes with the love that this family shares. No, it's not easy all of the time, but it is easy most of the time. We have our battles, our trials and our bad days. But for the other 97% of our time together, what you see here -- the goofiness, the love, the contentment, the happiness -- is truly what you get when you're around us.



A "thank you" doesn't seem adequate enough for someone that has given me what Katie and Brandon has in these pictures. I couldn't name a price for what they bring to me, or what they mean. I can tell you that they'll be taking our pictures every year from here on out...and probably my children's wedding pictures. And this year, we'll have a picture with them IN IT...well, because they're just that important.

Thank you, Katie and Brandon.

2010 Year in Review

When I'm older and think back to 2010, I'm pretty sure it'll be one of the Top Five years of my life. I don't think it has so much to do with the events that happened even though some great things happened in 2010. And I don't think it's about the places we went -- but we did get to go to some pretty cool places throughout the year. I think it was simply because of the shift that took place inside of me this year that I've written about so many times. I just became so content. Content with what I have. Content with what I don't have. Content in what I do. Content in it being Tuesday, not doing much of anything at all. Content is such a great feeling. Sure, I'm happy. But contentment is better than happiness in my opinion. Happiness is too much expectation, too hard to keep up, too much of a let down when you don't. Content is more real to me. Whether happy or sad, you can still be content.

2010 held alot for me personally. I did things in 2010 that I've never done before. I was the Team Mom for 12 screaming girls of Harley's cheer squad. It was fun in a crazy-chasing-girls-around kind of way. I was also the assistant Team Mom to Brenden's football team. Anyone who knows me, also knows of my fear of roller coasters. And not to be a Fraidy Cat in front of my 7-year old son, I rode a kid-sized roller coaster with him multiple, back-to-back times. Yeah, I know this isn't a huge deed notable especially for courage, but it was still monumental in the grand scheme of my yearly doings. On the downside of never-done-before things lies the inexplicable happening of deleting Bryce's birthday pictures. I know, right? But somehow, it happened. Big dislike. The other thing worthy of noting on the downside list would be backing into my husband's parked truck......twice. Yeah, never done that before -- well, I couldn't really say that the second time......

The year also held alot for us as a family. March held a grand event that the older kids had asked for for months -- as in, on their birthday wish lists. In May, I won a family pack of passes to Kings Island. We didn't get to go as much as I'd liked, but we still got to rot there a few days over the summer. June took us to Indianapolis where we had our first professional (ok, me with a self-timer does not constitute "professional") family portraits taken by a super-sweet couple. (I cannot believe I never blogged about this!?!???) We also took our first family vacation -- which included my in-laws. For 5 days in July we got all tourist-y in Gatlinburg, Tennessee where we took in the Upside-Down Museum, outlet malls, salt water taffy, go-karts, putt-putt, good 'ol southern barbecue and a purdy, panoramic vision of the Smokies.

I turned 34 this year and spent the night with a group of fantastic friends. Most of them my best friends. Ever since I was young, I have spent my birthday at the Bradford Pumpkin Show and insisted on spending the big 3-4 this way, too. And yes, I will spend next year's big day there as well. This birthday was pretty much the same as any other of the 33 I'd had, only this year I opted for birthday apple dumplings instead of a birthday cake, FTW!!

Thinking back on specific dates I can remember of 2010, only three pop into my mind. Obviously, the day we got married will forever be etched in my mind. But two more significant dates are left standing. I spent Labor Day consoling my husband after losing his mom unexpectedly at the age of 53. The days after that were gruesome and bittersweet and left me grateful for what we have. And October 24th, 2010 was the last day Chris coached Brenden's football team. Typically you wouldn't think it'd be a monumental date for me -- the supportive wife -- but it was. It's knowing that bittersweet feeling he had inside. Those kids on that team were like part of his family -- no, our family -- and knowing he won't see them on a day-to-day basis anymore nearly broke my heart for him. I see how he's positively impacted them. And I know he was one of the only good influences some of those kids had. That makes me sad for them.

I don't remember any big achievements of the year. Or failures. Actually, I don't really like that word because even the whole backing-into-the-husband's-parked-truck held a profound learning experience. And a lot of jokes.

Music has a funny way of attaching itself to certain years or parts of my life. There are events and years of my life that come rushing back to me when I hear a particular song. Guns 'n Roses' November Rain instantly makes me think of 1992. Aerosmith's Angel will always take me back to my junior high gym to my 8th grade spring dance. This year will be no exception. Every time I hear Like a G6 I will go back to this summer. Riding to and from football/cheer practice, trips to the mall, or the grocery store. I'd have my windows down and sunroof open, the sun would be on my face and I would be belting this song out at the top of my lungs. I didn't care who could hear me, it made me feel free and much younger than I really am. A friend of ours posted this one on Chris' Facebook page the day of my mother-in-laws memorial service. I had never really paid close attention to the lyrics of that song until then. And they were perfect. And, as much as it pains me to admit this, I will forever be able to close my eyes and hear my kids belting out this song from our basement. It also shames me to admit that I know the words to this song. Lame, but true.

All in all 2010 was a great year. I spent a lot of time watching Modern Family, The Office, 30 Rock and football. We spent the majority of our money on groceries. We cried some days and we laughed nearly everyday. Sometimes we laughed so hard we cried. We wouldn't trade any of it for anything. And this is why:


Kids: Created by us
Memories: Recorded by me 1/1/2010 - 12/31/2010
Music: Oh! (What a Glorious Thing) by Akira the Don
Love: Out there for the taking

Oops

I still get giddy when it comes to Christmas. Giddy, like a four-year-old, laying in front of the Christmas tree, staring at the gifts as if I would be able to tell what was inside of them with my supertoddler x-ray vision.

I love the excitement of wondering what is inside of each box, delicately wrapped and lovingly tagged "To: Mom". When Taylor was able to start reading, I would tag some of the gifts from funny people. "From: Dora". "From: Scooby Doo". "From: Drake and Josh"......Spongebob......Your Crazy Mom. It's even carried over to Chris and the boys now. "From: Old Lady", ChickenHead (that's what Bryce used to call me all the time), Beyonce, The Cook, The Maid...and on and on and on. It's so funny to watch their faces when they see who it's from. And they must've caught on...I have one under the tree this year from "BooBoo".

And since we've been together, Chris and I have been pretty lax with each other's gifts. There are quite a few gifts that we know about from the other. But, there are a few that we like to keep secret until Christmas morning. You know how it goes -- you're out shopping together and see something that you like, and they respond with the "Ok, get it. But you'll have to wait until Christmas to have it." deal. That's how it was with my luggage set this year, and Chris' digital tape measure.

And kinda what happened with my coffee mug.

I say "kinda" because it was more like an accident than an intentional thing.

He was working away up in his office. I was working away down in mine. He yelled down to me "Did you order anything for $36??"

"No", I said. "Nothing."

"You didn't order anything for $36 from Photojojo?? Are you sure? Come up here and look," he hollered.

When it hit me.

I had sent him a link a few weeks prior for a coffee mug that I had put on my Christmas list. It had to be that.

By the time I had gotten to the top of the stairs and rounded the corner to his office, I had a huge smile plastered across my face. I looked at him, grinned, and he looked back at me all clueless-like.

"The coffee mug I had on my Christmas list was from Photojojo," I said. His clueless look was quickly replaced with a "aw-man-you-weren't-supposed-to-know" look.

"Oops," he said, followed by a smirking "Merry Christmas, babe".

A few days later, a box came in the mail with my "oops" Christmas gift. Since I already knew what it was, Chris let me open it. But, then I had to wrap it and "can't have it until Christmas".

O Christmas Tree

I can remember decorating the Christmas tree when I was a kid. My sister and I would spend hours and hours putting multi-colored bulbs on the lower half and then fight over who had more of the silver, stringy, icicle stuff. Then, when we thought it looked too bare, we'd make paper ornaments and hang them on the tree with twist ties we recycled from loaves of bread.

It was always put in the same spot. Year after year it'd go in the front family room (or as my parents called it, the "good" living room -- good for what? is the queen coming over???). Anyway....our house was kind of an open floor plan on one side. The "good" living room opened up to the dining room and that opened up to the regular family room. (Would've been AWESOME for a bowling alley!) Mom liked the tree in the front room so you could see it from the outside....and so you could admire it from the inside at night.

My parents always insisted on a real tree....although my dad would probably beg to differ on that since he was the one that always got stuck on the clean-up crew. But the smell was so worth it. Even now, if I pass a real tree and close my eyes, I can see myself with those silver icicles in my hand. Of course, I can also still feel the prick in the arch of my foot come February when you're scuffing your feet on the carpet to shock your sister.

Now that I think about it, I don't even know where the real tree came from. I don't remember going out to the country tree farm all Griswald-like, trekking miles in the freezing snow, chopping it down and then lugging it back to the car. And I don't remember going to some Mom-and-Pop stop where they were in aisles, lined up like some evergreen tent. Yet, year after year, there it stood, proudly boasting in our "good" living room.

Not much has changed, really, from when I was younger. I still love putting up the tree. I'm finally able to put all of the bulbs evenly on the tree -- not just at the bottom. I just don't have anyone to fight over the icicles with.

It has to look perfect. Like, staight-out-of-Martha-Stewart-Living-magazine-perfect. I traded in the multi-colored lights for only red and white ones. Red and silver bulbs (placed perfectly thankyouverymuch), silver and red ribbon, candy canes, garland and a big white star at the tip top. Perfect.

Since none of the kids were here to help me decorate this year, I dediced to do something a wee bit different. Last year I took one still picture of the final outcome of the tree -- at night, all lit up. But this year, I decided to do a graduation from start to finish.

Any of my friends -- and especially my husband and children -- will tell you what a big, fat dork I am. It's ok. Really. I know this and I wear it proudly.

You'll see.

Cell phone chronicles

Well, here it is November. Summer's gone (Sob! Sob!) And I'm left to relive the past months thru all of the pictures I've taken of our crazy, spring/summer/early fall-ness.

Which would be great....if there were any.

No, I'm serious. I'm literally scouring thousands of images taken from April until now and I'm not finding too many of my little clan. I'm honestly starting to think my imagery documenting skills are falling to the wayside. Did I really work so hard for my clients and not-so-hard for my little HalfDozen? What's going to happen when I put together our 2010 Year In Review slideshow? Will I have to pay models to "stand in"?

I'm actually quite disappointed in myself. I didn't even blog as much as last year. And I know I had more to say. Just not enough time. Chris tells me all the time "you can't do everything". I know this. But I wish I could. I wish I could be every where with everyone and didn't have to let anyone down by saying no. But, it just doesn't happen that way.

I have some pretty cool things lined up for next year. I know some of you -- ok, who am I kidding -- all of you are wanting me to blog more. Wanda, every day might not happen, but it'll be more along the lines of once a week, for sure.

So anyway, back to the cell phone chronicles......I was going thru all of my pictures for 2010 when I realized that I had a gazillion pictures on my cell. Which prompted me to load them into Photoshop, which led to this blog post.

Apparently, the majority of my cell phone pictures are food and beverage. With 3% landscapes and 84% of them have my crazy kids in 'em.

Random can still be good, right?

Today's post is brought to you by the number 34.

It really hasn't been what I expected it would be.

Turning 34 in my mind many, many years ago, I imagined a much more horrific scene. Like already having had lyposuction after birthing 6 kids....hating my job....and receiving my Golden Buckeye card.

Good thing THAT'S not the case. (Although I did get a new Kroger's card this month.)

In fact, turning 34 has been incredible. If there is something better than 'incredible'.....it'd be THAT. To the third power. Times 50.

And to be honest, nothing monumental happened this year. Not like last year. It was just a normal birthday. A day with birthday cards, singing, you know....the works. It doesn't take much for me to be happy. I have everything I've ever wanted wrapped up in my little world. I have a phenomenal husband/father, 4 outstanding kids, so many amazing friends and family. What more could you want? OK, BESIDES Kirk Herbstreit jumping out of your cake??

As a running tally, I have gotten the following "gifts":

1 birthday apple dumpling
206 217 218 Facebook notifications
breakfast with my husband
a super yummy candle from my in-laws
4 homemade cards from my artsy-fartsy kidders
lunch with my girls
1 Bahama Mama
9 singing waitresses with
1 fudge sundae
9 text messages from my homies
2 voicemails
8 cards
1 virtual high-five from Chicago

AND THIS:




Why wouldn't I love my birthday?! =)

Here's some pretty cool facts about the day I was born:

1976 Prices
Bread: $0.30/loaf
Milk: $1.42/gal
eggs: $1.28/doz
Car: $5,418
Gas: $0.60/gal
House: $48,000
Stamp: $0.13/ea
Avg Income: $16,870/yr
Min Wage: $2.30/hr
DOW Avg: 1,005

People born on October 11
1948 - Daryl Hall rocker/songwriter (Hall & Oates-Sara Smile)
1918 - Jerome Robbins choreographer/composer (Tony-West Side Story)
1884 - Eleanor Roosevelt 1st lady/crusader

On TV in 1976
Happy Days
Little House on the Prairie
Mork & Mindy
Laverne & Shirley
Alice
Barney Miller
M*A*S*H
Charlie's Angels
The Bob Newhart Show
The Rockford Files

Hot New Toys in 1976
The Bionic Woman
Evel Knievel Stunt World
Stretch Armstrong
Barbie glamour head
Atari
Marie Osmond TV Makeup center
Little People
Little Professor Calculator
Muhammad Ali Action Figure

The price of gas makes me kinda sick...ok, alot sick. And so does the price of milk for that matter. It's kinda cool to know I share a birthday with Eleanor Roosevelt, but Hall & Oates??? I would totally be DVRing Laverne&Shirley if it were on TV today and Alice. And I can also remember getting the Barbie Glamour Head for Christmas one year (probably waaaaaaay after it was cool to have one).

Funny. NOW I feel old.

To the most amazing father in the WORLD

Written inside of his card:

Today is your day. The day that you get to sit back, relax, and soak up all the love around you. A special day carved out of the year just for you -- for our little family to remind you how loved you are, how much we appreciate ALL you do and how incredibly thankful we are to have such an amazing father (husband) like you.

We do a pretty good job of telling you -- and showing you -- throughout the year how great you are and how loved you are. But today, when you look around at us, I hope you see it...No, I hope you FEEL it. I hope you feel how our worlds would stop if you weren't in them. I hope you are overcome with joy knowing that this family loves you and are so thankful to have a dad as great as you are. You are constant, you are admirable, you are incredible...

...and you are OURS.

I love you with all my heart,
Your Wife

Happy Father's Day.

Sidetracked into a melted heart....

I'm sitting here sifting thru 900+ images on my cards and this jumps out at me.

And completely melts my heart.

I love this kid. And his freckles. And his eyes like his dad's. And, ugh, that innocent grin.

I love my job.

I love my passion.

I love my kids.

I love getting sidetracked.

I love my melted heart.

I love my Brady-esque family.

I love my life.

Oh Happy Day

The day started out being like every other day.

But not.

It was our day.

Since the boys were at their mom's house, and the girls were at their dad's, we woke up to a fairly quiet house that morning. Chris got up that morning with a little work to do and left the house relatively early. I woke up earlier than normal with butterflies already in my stomach. I managed to keep busy with my normal morning routine and a quick trip to the store for belts for the boys.

By late morning everyone was back at home. It was the most beautiful day of the year (so far) and the kids took advantage of it outside. Other than the hand towels prominently displayed in the master bathroom, you never would have suspected a wedding was going to take place that day. The song of a slamming front door and kids giggling danced through the house on the breeze from the wide open windows.

But their was a wedding that day. Our wedding.

There is something fun about the element of surprise. No one had a clue what we were up to that day. Not our parents, not our friends, and certainly not our kids. It's a plan we had had in place for nearly a month, and with the exception of our photographer disguised as one of our best friends, no one was none the wiser.

We didn't start out planning our wedding like this. Originally we wanted a traditional wedding, with a pastor reading our vows, our parents in attendance, and fancy dresses. But the more we started planning, the less meaningful it was quickly becoming. We thought our kids wanted the "normal wedding" -- as they so called it -- only to find out the only thing they really wanted was the party.

So, after a wonderful conversation with my Aunt Leah, the plans changed. We had decided to go to the courthouse -- just the six of us -- and exchange our vows in front of the Justice of the Peace.

Everyone had brand new outfits for the occasion, right down to Bryce's skull-and-crossbone tie. (Those of you that know him, know how fitting it is.) The girls were in cute polka-dotted dresses and each wore a flower in their hair. The boys -- all three of them -- had crisply ironed shirts and coordinating ties. I wore a blue satin blouse and black pencil skirt (to which Bryce affectionately commented on my resemblance to Erkel). We were a good looking bunch. And we looked like we belonged together.

About 12:30 on Wednesday, March 31st, we all piled in the truck and headed to the courthouse in New Lebanon. The ride was only 30 minutes but felt like 3 hours. I was anxious and excited and the drive was nearly stress-free. No worries about DJs, bridesmaids missing jewelry, groomsmen drinking too much in the parking lot, or what time the cakelady was arriving. It was just us, our happy kids, our photographer, and our marriage certificate.

We were greeted by the judge's bailiff, Amy, who showed us into the courtroom. None of the kids had ever seen a courtroom -- however I'm pretty sure it won't be the last visit for at least 2 of them -- and were excited to be in such a cool place. Amy explained how the ceremony would unfold and moments later the judge came into the room.

He was an older gentleman with glasses and white hair. He wore a dark green robe and a tender look on his face. And although he kept our ceremony serious, you could tell he was a family man with a soft heart.

As the ceremony began, I remember looking at Chris thanking God that he put him in my life, and the girls' lives. I remember thinking "gosh, I'm so lucky to have all of this for the rest of my life". For richer or poorer, I have 4 incredible kids, I get kitchen-table-conversations with my 17 year old son about his girlfriend, I get the joyous phone call of our oldest daughter when she's giving us the news of our first grandchild. In sickness and in health, there will be deaths to mourn through, births to celebrate, heartaches to heal and disappointment to defeat. Until death do us part, we will stand by one another happily traveling down God's path He laid for us.

All the days of our life.

Although it only lasted 5 minutes (tops), it will forever be etched in my mind. It was absolutely perfect. We stripped it down to what was important to the most important people. It was sentimental, it was intimate, it was romantic.

It was the day that six became one.

Divine Intervention

I fought it in the beginning....I fought it HARD. I was stuck in a difficult, dark place. I was so confused with life and couldn't really make sense of why things were happening. I was on the end-cap of a horrible marriage with an alcoholic and Chris had just left a relationship of 17 years with his ex-wife. I had sworn off men (and was preparing myself for a No Man Plan) and he was in no shape for a relationship after what he'd been through.

I asked myself 'why' 100 times. "Why is this happening? Why him? Why NOW??"

And then one day it hit me like a cartoon anvil.

Our lives were SUPPOSED to intersect at that exact moment.

What I lacked, he provided. What he lost, I found for him. We helped each other heal and encouraged the necessary changes to get there. We held hurdles for each other to leap. And little bit by little bit those bad memories, those awful feelings leftover from our past relationships, were replaced with positive ones.

We are uncannily alike and swear we share a brain from time-to-time. We usually know what each other is thinking and can finish each other's sentences. We've had conversations without speaking a word. Except for the unfortunate sour cream discrepancy, we have similar food likes (our favorite sandwich is bologna with potato chips and mustard), we watch the same shows (a lot of Reality TV) and live by the DVR. Our religious beliefs are in agreement. We have a tendency to take in stray kids for dinner.

He thinks my quirks are cute. I think his sincerity is stunning. He thinks my photography and writing are amazing. I think his chosen profession is admirable. Our children "get" one another. We fit perfectly together, like the last two pieces of an unfinished puzzle.

He is the most thoughtful and compassionate man I have ever known. He is an incredible father to our kids. And loyal to our friends. He is honest and fair, genuine and tenacious.

We support each other's dreams and our friendship knows no boundries. We have the endurance to face the hardships and the determination to pull through them. Our relationship is comfortable and our love is effortless.

We both realize what a blessing we are to the other and the gift that we share. We respect the people that each of us are, and appreciate the faults we bring to the table. We recognize what we have been given here and have the dedication to see it through. I fully believe that we will be that family, that couple, everyone is green with jealousy to be. We will be that couple that still makes-out in the driveway after "date night" when we're 40, and that old couple strolling thru the grocery store some 50 years later.

I am happy. It's been a long time since I've felt happiness without fear or trepidation or waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the first time in my adult life, I feel like happiness is not a temporary emotion.

This happy is for real. And it's here to stay.

2009 Year in Review

2009 was good to me.

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally good to me.

Like, almost-one-of-the-best-years-ever good to me. Yeah, THAT good.

I looked back at the 6500 images I took (no joke, it was that many!!) and tried to find the best picture of the year. Something that highlighted the year.

But, when I started looking, I couldn't find one. I could find 32 of them. And then at one point I narrowed it down to 15, but I couldn't find just one.

Then, I asked myself, "Why do I have to pick just one?".

And that tiny little thought led me to 158 images that I compiled into this amazing slideshow. Which to me, was a 5 minute smile chiseled into my face.

As easy as you'd think this would be for me -- a photographer, mind you -- it was so hard trying to weed out the "unimportant" images. We had alot of important stuff happen over the course of 2009. There were birthdays, and milestones of a first tooth loss, there were sporting events and life events of babies being born. There were holidays and vacations.

But my all-time favorite times from last year were the in-betweens. The Halfdozen sledding trips and snow forts, the family trip to the Ohio State spring game, the night all of us went to dinner at TGIFridays and Cassanos, and our Yahtzee games. Then, there were the summer nights of the kids playing in the backyard, or the hot afternooons at the swimming pool. The lazy Saturday afternoons of sidewalk chalk drawings and the backyard football games.

How is one person suppose to choose a favorite? I couldn't. And believe me, I tried! Chris always makes fun of me for have 100 favorites of something -- movies, colors, foods, shoes. "They ALL can't be your favorites...", he'd say. But there was just no way for me to have only one favorite.

I hope my family gets to look back at the gazillion (that's really a word) pictures that I have taken over their lives and appreciate the moments that I was able to capture.

It's like memory insurance.

One day they'll be old, with kids of their own, looking back at boxes full of pictures. They'll tell their kids "man, I remember when we went here"....or "remember how mad mom got when we broke that clock?"

I want them to feel their hearts swell when they look back at these pictures and remember how much they were loved. Then maybe, just maybe, they'll have a tiny idea about how it felt to be their mom.

Happy Halloween

Jumping ahead a few posts to wish everyone a Happy Halloween!

And because my posts are so much more exciting with a picture....here's the kids on Trick-or-Treat night. Harley was a punked up version of Hannah Montana and Bryce was a ninja. Brenden and Taylor were "too cool to trick-or-treat".


Busy week coming up....lots of posts to share.....

You'll Never See It Coming........

It just didn't make sense.

"Why did Brenden need his phone charger when we were going to be picking him up in 3 hours. AND it's 8:00 at night??"

The kids were at Papaw Reck's for the evening and it seemed a bit strange that we had to go out of our way to drop off a phone charger. Who could that kid possibly be talking to??!? And in true Chris fashion, his response to me questioning him about it was "I told him that I'd do it and I'm going to honor my word".

Geez, how was I supposed to argue with that?!

We pulled in and hopped out of the truck -- phone charger in hand, of course. Grandma Sheri was watching a movie in the living room when we walked in. We chatted a minute or two (ironically about how nice Chris looked) when she told us that the kids and Papaw were "camping" in the backyard.

"You can just go thru the kitchen", she said. So, we did. I was leading the way and was kind of in a hurry....we had people waiting on us to celebrate me turning 33.

"SUUUURRRRPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRISE!!!"

"What the ...what's going on???"

I looked around and saw all of my closest friends, smiles plastered on their faces like they had just pulled off some top secret Oval Office mission. The kids had made me a huge homemade birthday sign with big 3's all over it and it was strategically hung on the kitchen cabinets. There were cards and lots of hugs.

I'm pretty good at picking up on things and I was clueless. No one slipped up and said anything. No one was acting funny.

Centered smack-dab in the middle of the kitchen table was an enormous birthday cake with two, big, candles in the shape of a 3.....and a hideous picture of me in a tap dance costume from when I was eight years old. Yeah, not the ideal picture to be on my birthday cake, but I'll give the man credit for making it special and unique. Plus, you can waiver some of the embarrassment for someone that went out of their way to surprise me. Besides, it IS pretty funny.


So, I sat down and opened up all of my cards preciously made by four little kids. OUR four kids, to be exact. And one from Papaw,Grandma, and Katie (the dog). And one from my amazing boyfriend.

There's an episode of The Office where Jim and Pam are on the way to their wedding and talking about taking mental pictures so they don't forget anything. That's what I wanted to do right then, right there. I wanted to take the overflowing love I felt inside, bottle it up, and put it on a shelf where I could pop it open on my 80th birthday. I looked around me and saw all of these amazing people -- not only in MY life -- but also my girls lives now. I remember looking around and thanking God for them.

Chris interrupted me with "Do you want your gift now, or do you want to wait until tomorrow?" Since, technically, my birthday was the next day he could've easily made me wait. And before I could mutter the first syllable, he said "oh, you can have it now".

Delighted, of course, I sat there and was thrilled that I didn't have to wait another 24 hours for whatever was wrapped in that pretty red paper behind him. And, as he turned around to grab it off of the hutch it sat on, he knocked it to the floor.

To the hardwood floor.

I could tell it was a glass of some sort and I could REALLY tell once it hit the floor. "He broke it!...is it replaceable?.....what if the kids made it????" A thousand thoughts flooded my brain and my only hope was that no one was going to be upset. "Please let it be okay. Please let it be in one piece."

Chris hovered over it like a wounded kitten he was trying to heal. I couldn't see what kind of shape it was in (or what it was for that matter) so I stood up, hoping for a better view. In the seconds between me deciding to stand up to me actually standing on my two feet, Chris turned around and looked up at me.

On one knee.

One one knee with a tiny, black, box in his hand.

It was as if I were standing too close to a pizza oven. A hot flash from the wrinkles in my forehead to the polish on my pinky toes waved over me. My hands immediately covered my wide-open mouth. My eyes welled up with tears. "Don't blink, your mascara will run", I told myself.

I watched his lips move but I can't tell you what he was saying. I was lost in the adoration for this man who made me a much better person. I was in love with what he brought to my life, our kids' lives, our friends' lives. I was in love with his genuine-ness, his heart, his passion, and his values. I was in love with the way he left me little notes. I was in love with the way he smelled. I was in love with the way he made me feel.

"YES!!! Of course, I will marry you!!!!"

I was crying, Taylor was crying and even Bryce was thrilled (and that's sayin' something!!).

I have had so many personal hurdles to jump the last year. I've had a complete life overhaul -- for the better. I've had hard issues that I had to face and overcome. I've rid my life of the people who didn't positively influence me or my kids. I've replaced those negative people with good-hearted, genuinely caring people. I can finally share the good people in MY life with someone that appreciates them as much as I do. People that love us and have our best interests at heart. People that care to give good, honest advice. People that are family. People that love unconditionally.

I did all of that with the help of this man that stands beside me. I am finally in a place where I am truly content....right where I'm supposed to be, with who I'm supposed to be with. Our family is magical and our love is effortless.

It's amazing how God makes two lives intersect that the perfect time. It is obvious to me that He had a plan all these years. There was a reason I had to go thru the heartaches, the bad relationships, and the emptiness. There was a reason why He put me on the path to see the good people in my life.

And that reason was Chris. And I, along with our kids, will forever be grateful.

Six

Today, the little big man of the house turns 6.

Six.

I've never met a kid quite like Bryce. From the time his feet hit the floor in the morning, to the time he lays down at night, he is going 100 miles an hour. Literally, physically, mentally, actually. I'm not certain where he gets his energy (or where he stores it in that little body of his) but it's non-stop -- barely breaking to eat lunch. Just once, I'd like to have a smidgen of his energy when I clean the house....or my office.

And he's tougher than nails. Not just physically, but his attitude. He ALWAYS tries to do everything himself before ever asking for help and will not stop until he succeeds. Sports, games, combination locks, you name it. He'll do it.



Six facts about the Six-Year-Old:

* His favorite color is red. Buckeye Red....not red, not redish, not crimson, but Buckeye Red. "There is a difference", he says.

* A little over a year ago, he shot out the back window in my truck with a BB gun.

* We call him "Dash" here at the Halfdozen House because of how fast he can run. The only time you'll catch him is when he's sleeping. Trust me, I've tried.

* He lives for football and wrestling and is an animal at both sports. Against guys or girls, he's just as fierce.

* He hates tomatoes. "They are the sickest."

* He lost his first tooth a week ago.

Happy Birthday, Chicken Head.

The First Week....

To say that "I've been busy" since I quit my job would be a complete understatement. A HUGE understatement really. I'm not sure how I managed to have a full-time job, chase four kids around, try to keep things in order at home, cook, clean, laundry and so on, and still have time to sleep. And quite frankly, it's been a sad eye-opener as to what I wasn't able to do because I had a full-time 9-5er that my wonderful boyfriend picked up the slack on. How that man managed to do all that he was doing while I was working and still run his own business amazes me.

So anyway, remember waaaaaaay back when.....when blogged a list of everything I wanted to do once I quit my old j.o.b. and started full-time photography:

paint new "office" (and the laundry room while I'm at it)
organize office
update website
research marketing/advertising
nose pierced
Picture Fizz Facebook???

The only two things on this list that I've managed to cross off so far is 'organize office' and 'nose pierced'. Not really changing the world yet, but hey, it's a good start.

This atrociousness that I referred to my "office" was so far outta control that it took nearly 3 days for me to get thru it. No joke. In my defense though, some of this chaos was caused by cleaning the back of my truck out before going on vacation and bringing home 3 boxes of useless crap from my Corporate America office job. Hardly my fault, right?

I can remember being in school and having self portrait project after self portrait project after self portrait project. You'd think that after all that Me Time in front of the camera, I'd be used to it. Sad truth is the only picture of myself that I actually like is my driver's license. Go figure.

And the only reason why I converted this to B&W was so no one saw the awful grey in my hair right now. Yeah, "dye job" isn't anywhere on that list....

My Grandma told me that if I got my nose pierced that she'd promptly remove me from any inheritance that I am currently willed. Oh don't worry, if I've done all I've done in my life and she still hasn't disowned me, them I'm good. Or maybe it was the fact that I kindly reminded her that I will be the one looking after her when she's withering away in a nursing home. (As if I'd ever put her in a nursing home....)

PS. Where'd the dimple come from?????

Moving on......................

I have somehow made forced myself to make my bed the instant my feet hit the floor. Every. Single. Day. My mom (and Grandma) would be so proud of me. I never believed either one of them when I was 13 and they told me that "it just feels better getting into your bed when it's been made all day". They were right though -- it does feel better.

Sometimes it's the little things that I accomplish in a day that make me feel like I've tackled something huge.

One of my favorite parts of meeting the couples that I photograph, is hearing the stories of their love....how they met, what interests they hold together, etc. One of the things that couples share with me is their own language between each other. Things that they say or do to one another that a stranger may not understand but make perfect sense to their partner. Sometimes is a gesture or a look and other times it's words, but regardless, it always means something.

Chris and I have our own language.... "it goes both ways". That's what we sometimes tell each other instead of saying "I love you". With us, it truly does go both ways....our love, our respect, our happiness, our adoration of one another. Our effort, our commitment, and our friendship.

"Our" song has a line that says "it's not what you've got, it's what you give". We remind each other of this all the time. It's not so much what you have in a relationship, it's also what you give to your partner. Equal parts. And our cups equally runneth over.

Seemed fitting for it to be the on the wall of the place we see last before going to bed, and first thing when our eyes open in the morning.

Three weeks ago, I lovingly kissed my boyfriend good-bye to football season. We love football here at the Halfdozen House. We eat it, sleep it, breathe it, heck....even the boys fart it. Chris coaches Brenden's fifth grade team as he's done the last 3 years and Bryce is a rookie this year. So, needless to say, three nights a week and every weekend are consumed with Green and Gold.

Both of the boys had their premier football games on Saturday afternoon. Since this is Bryce's first year playing we made a pretty big production about his first game EVER. And he couldn't have looked anymore adorable in his uniform than what he did that day. He was like a helmet with legs!

Our big, bad running back is also turning 6 this weekend, so we had a little party for him Saturday night.

6....oh to be six again....

His Day

If you were to ask me what a typical day is like in our house with our little Half Dozen, the first thing I would tell you is "chaos". Mad chaos. Sometimes we try to organize it, but other times it's just flat outta control.

Then, I'd tell you how much love we have trapped in the 4 walls of our 2-story brick house. I would tell you about our red-headed-freckled son that has an uncanny resemblance to the Cookie Monster when he eats. I would tell you about our 11-year-old daughter who we believe secretly has a Sports Agent for her softball career. Then I'd tell you about our girly-girl who usually has her nose shoved in the binding of a book, reading to her baby, Molly. And I'd tell you about our super-star quarterback 10-year-old with a laser rocket arm. I'd tell you about how the 4 of them run thru our house like excited dogs searching for an open door. I'd tell you how loud it gets in our house from the laughter -- typically following one of the boys, or Taylor, farting. I'd tell you how we sit down to eat dinner together nearly every night and how my most favorite part of the day is when we tuck them in and get hugs and kisses..... x 4.

But then I'd tell you about the man that holds everything together. I'd tell you about how he works endless hours some days to make sure our house runs like a well oiled machine. I'd tell you about how he spends his "day off" doing way more housework than he should, without ever complaining, to make sure we can have quality Half Dozen Time when I get home from work. I'd explain that my passion for photography would never be pursued without the love and support from my best friend....even if it means he has to bear a bigger load for the next 2 months. I'd tell you about a man that gives his unbiased, genuine advice that nearly always follows the rule of "doing the right thing". I'd tell you how my heart warms to see Harley snuggled in his lap asleep. Or how I fill with pride to hear him and Brenden talk football at the dinner table. Or how adorable he is when Bryce is following him around the house wanting to help him with any chore he might be doing, like his very own personal assistant. And of course there's how he gets all sweaty passing the softball (or football these days) with Taylor in the backyard....then proceeds to give me a big 'ol (very sweaty!) bear hug.

I would tell you how he chuckles at me for leaving the closet light on. Every. Single. Day. I'd tell you how he has stood by me thru some of the darkest days of my life and how he's influenced me to be an amazing person. I would tell you how he loves my freckles and kissing me on the nose. I'd tell you how he tries to prevent me from burning myself when I cook dinner, and cleans up after me while I cook. I'd tell you how my days are sweeter and colors are brighter because of his smile. I'd tell you how I still get butterflies when his name pops up on my phone.

Sunday was his day. His day to be taken to breakfast, sit in the A/C, and be catered to all day long -- even if he did have to mow the grass. And that's exactly what we did. Because nothing says "we love you" and "thanks dad" like a glass of sweet tea and burgers on the grill. Which seems so inadequate for what he gives to all of us every other day of the year.

Photo Essay -- Mother's Day

I realized this morning that I never posted any pictures of my Mother's Day.

Mother's Day used to be one of the most dreaded days of the year for me. After losing my mom at the age of 15, it was a day of constant reminder of what I no longer had. It was a day that forced me to remember how her laugh sounded, what her smile looked like, and what her love felt like. And the more days that went by, the harder it seemed to keep those things fresh in my mind.

But then.......then, you have kids of your own, and as amazing as it is, the focus shifts from what you don't have, to what you do. From a day you don't get to be part of, to a day dedicated to you.

This Mother's Day was even better than year's past because it was multiplied by 2. Double the hugs, double the love, double the laughter and double the smiles.

We spent the day outside in the garden with the girls waiting for the boys to come back home. Some of my most treasured things of my mom's are the pictures that keep her memory alive. I realized I rarely allow myself to get in front of the camera -- since I'm normally behind it. So I made a conscience decision to try to get in some of them. (Even though I hate nearly every picture of myself, I'm going to do better at that. Although I think I might be the only person on the face of the planet that actually LIKES my drivers license picture. Go figure.)




I am truly blessed with the people who are in it.

O-H!

If there's one thing I've learned by living with (and loving) an Ohio State grad, is you eat it, sleep it, breathe it, love it, speak it, watch it, dream it, feed it, marry it, scream it, and live it. Ok, that was more than just "one thing"...

I've always been a Buckeye fan, but Chris takes it to a whole new level. His passion for the Buckeyes is like a German chocolate cake with whipped milk chocolate icing to a sugar deprived kid. Naturally, we are trying to instill that crazy passion in our kids.

Part of passing down the craziness is taking them to the spring football game. Ask anyone in a 20 mile radius of The Shoe and they'll tell you it's a national holiday....or should be. So, Saturday we packed up the troop and headed to Columbus for the un-official Spring Game Day.

I was too chicken to take my big camera -- plus The Shoe has this ridiculous policy of no detachable lenses -- so all of these were taken with my crappy point & shoot.



I have this thing I do when I shoot where I don't hold the camera up to my eye, I just aim and shoot. This is one of the shots. I really didn't anticipate it coming out the way it did, but I totally dig it.



The Columbus Skyline



This picture actually has a purpose. That building behind them is where Chris spent the 2 years he lived in Columbus. The window just above his head was his bedroom. This was the first trip back to Columbus with Chris with me. It's so much different seeing the city thru his eyes....the memories, the nostalgia, and the bittersweet good-bye.



Again with the graffiti?! I can't explain my fascination for it. I think there should be an art history class on it...



The staple family pic in front of the rotunda. You can't really see it, but the rotunda has these huge, HUGE windows of mosaic stained glass pictures. Amazing.



Anything about 50° in Ohio in April is considered a heat wave....at 70° people kick on their central air....and 80° is borderline global warming. On Saturday it was 84°. We all had sunblock on (in April!?) and STILL managed to get sunburned. And to make it worse, we all got it on only one side of our bodies. Except for Harley....she spent the majority of the game under the bleachers playing her Leapster. Yeah, football isn't her thing. Maybe if they wore pink tu-tu's and sprinkled glitter everywhere she'd pay attention.



Meet The Buckeyeguy. From the look of the nuts around his neck, I'd say this guy is pretty cool. Anyone who wears gloves and a turtleneck in 84° weather, has to be cool.



Out of the whole day, I got 3 pictures of the actual football game (and none of them are even posted!). Spoken like a true photographer....

Easter

I realized this morning that I haven't even posted pictures of us on Easter. I suffered from a migraine the entire day, but unless I've lost an appendage, I'll still take pictures.





I can remember playing the egg and spoon game with my Grandma and Mom. And once, my sister and I wanted tried to play it...but the egg wasn't hard boiled. We tried to hide the broken-egg evidence under a mat. That didn't go over well....

xo,
e