...but the even better things just get moved around!! Like this blog.
You'll find the new blog here. Go ahead, check it out. Just be sure to change your bookmarks!
See you on the new digs!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I didn't even see it coming.
It just hit me--WHAM!--just like that with no head's up. No warning.
I knew this day would get here eventually, but I didn't expect it to be here this fast. I mean, shouldn't they send you some sort of paper warning you that it's coming? Even the government sends you tax forms.
Today, I officially became the mom of a teenager. Pick me up of the floor.
She's outgoing and yet can be reserved. She can be timid and out of control. She's incredibly kind-hearted and has such a soft soul. She lights up a room just by walking into it. And her smile could melt concrete like some form of Superhero kryptonite. There is no way God could have given me a better kid in her. She is laid back and eager to please. She sets an incredible example for her younger brothers and sister (most of the time). =) She helps out when it's not expected and tries her absolute hardest when it IS expected. I tell Chris all the time about my excitement watching our kids grow up. What will they become in their adult lives? What profession will they get into? What dreams will they follow? I'm sure I'll blink my eyes and I'll be sitting at their college graduation ceremony. Time seems to go that fast some days. Against my will and all. Happy birthday sweet girl.
I knew this day would get here eventually, but I didn't expect it to be here this fast. I mean, shouldn't they send you some sort of paper warning you that it's coming? Even the government sends you tax forms.
Today, I officially became the mom of a teenager. Pick me up of the floor.
Today, my baby turned 13.
Just yesterday she had grown out of kids' shoes and into the women's section. And I could've sworn it was only last month that she was a preschooler drawing me pictures of things I couldn't recognize....or was the cute little thing with fat rolls that would fall asleep on my chest...or was the 3-year-old whose dimples would throw a fit for princess snacks at the grocery store.
And now....
Just yesterday she had grown out of kids' shoes and into the women's section. And I could've sworn it was only last month that she was a preschooler drawing me pictures of things I couldn't recognize....or was the cute little thing with fat rolls that would fall asleep on my chest...or was the 3-year-old whose dimples would throw a fit for princess snacks at the grocery store.
And now....
Now she is this young, independent woman. She no longer needs me to help her up on a step-stool to get her Cheerios in the morning or put her hair up into a ponytail. She does it all by herself. And somewhere along the line, she taught herself how to get up on her own in the mornings -- I no longer sneak into her room and rub her face until she starts to giggle. She's developed all of these amazing relationships with her peers and her own personality at the same time.
She's outgoing and yet can be reserved. She can be timid and out of control. She's incredibly kind-hearted and has such a soft soul. She lights up a room just by walking into it. And her smile could melt concrete like some form of Superhero kryptonite. There is no way God could have given me a better kid in her. She is laid back and eager to please. She sets an incredible example for her younger brothers and sister (most of the time). =) She helps out when it's not expected and tries her absolute hardest when it IS expected. I tell Chris all the time about my excitement watching our kids grow up. What will they become in their adult lives? What profession will they get into? What dreams will they follow? I'm sure I'll blink my eyes and I'll be sitting at their college graduation ceremony. Time seems to go that fast some days. Against my will and all. Happy birthday sweet girl. Monday, January 10, 2011
Reck, Table for 6
When I was scouring through the images of the past year for my Year In Review post, I realized that I had never shared the pictures of our First Ever Photo Session As A Family.
Major fail as a mom. And a bigger fail as a photographer.
The question I CONTINUOUSLY get about my job/home life is "Who photographs the photographer's family?" And it's a good question really. I mean, most of the time a 10 second timer and a mad dash gets me something that will suffice, but where do you turn when you want to be serious about it?! Who do you trust with something like that?
Being a photographer myself, there are a select few fellow photographers that I look to for inspiration. They keep me creative and help me develop my own style. I found Katie and Brandon of Bungalow Photography a few years ago . I can't remember how I stumbled upon them, but after one quick read of their blog, I was hooked. I loved their style. I loved everything about their work. I loved Katie's curly hair and how simply sweet they were.
I knew when Chris and I got engaged that I wanted Katie and Brandon to photograph the day. And then, as that turned into a much less Big To-Do into a more intimate just-the-six-of-us thing, I decided to skimp on the wedding day pictures (I know!! I just said "skimp on pictures"!) and go all-out for our first family session. So, one day in June I relinquished my photographic control-freakiness, sat back and just enjoyed being a client.
I wasn't sure how it would work out -- me letting go and just letting be. I mean, I'm used to the Rule of Thirds, composition, and flow. How am I going to survive a couple hours without seeing the LCD screen of my little clan? Will I be able to function without zooming in to see if our eyes are in focus?
We met Katie and Brandon at this funky, retro diner in Fountain Square in Indianapolis. Where my messiest eater decided to get barbecue ribs for dinner. What. Was. I. Thinking. For the life of me, I cannot figure out how we got out of that place unscathed (and unsauced), but we did. And from there, we strolled around this awesome neighborhood. It was the quaintest little place I've ever been. The buildings were full of character with their worn walls and peeling paint, old metal stairs and perfect doorways. We tucked into alleys, lined up along buildings, and sat in a row on the curb. Perfect. I didn't want formal poses and we weren't all in matchy-matchy outfits. I wanted our personalities to shine thru.
And they did. Just as I imagined.
As a mom to these kids, and a wife to their dad, it's easy for me to see what it is about each one of them that I adore. I love Taylor's giddiness. I love Brenden's soft-spoken ways. I love Harley's goofiness. And I love how Bryce is happy for no apparent reason. I love how Chris laughs at Family Guy when he's the only one in the room. I love that we just "get" each other. I love our inside jokes. I love us just being.
When I look at these pictures, I can see that. To feel that love between each other is one thing, but to see it -- and have others see it -- is incredible. I sent Katie a text when I received my disc of images and told her "I always knew what it felt like to love my family, but now I know what it looks like." My heart implodes with the love that this family shares. No, it's not easy all of the time, but it is easy most of the time. We have our battles, our trials and our bad days. But for the other 97% of our time together, what you see here -- the goofiness, the love, the contentment, the happiness -- is truly what you get when you're around us.
A "thank you" doesn't seem adequate enough for someone that has given me what Katie and Brandon has in these pictures. I couldn't name a price for what they bring to me, or what they mean. I can tell you that they'll be taking our pictures every year from here on out...and probably my children's wedding pictures. And this year, we'll have a picture with them IN IT...well, because they're just that important.
Thank you, Katie and Brandon.
Major fail as a mom. And a bigger fail as a photographer.
The question I CONTINUOUSLY get about my job/home life is "Who photographs the photographer's family?" And it's a good question really. I mean, most of the time a 10 second timer and a mad dash gets me something that will suffice, but where do you turn when you want to be serious about it?! Who do you trust with something like that?
Being a photographer myself, there are a select few fellow photographers that I look to for inspiration. They keep me creative and help me develop my own style. I found Katie and Brandon of Bungalow Photography a few years ago . I can't remember how I stumbled upon them, but after one quick read of their blog, I was hooked. I loved their style. I loved everything about their work. I loved Katie's curly hair and how simply sweet they were.
I knew when Chris and I got engaged that I wanted Katie and Brandon to photograph the day. And then, as that turned into a much less Big To-Do into a more intimate just-the-six-of-us thing, I decided to skimp on the wedding day pictures (I know!! I just said "skimp on pictures"!) and go all-out for our first family session. So, one day in June I relinquished my photographic control-freakiness, sat back and just enjoyed being a client.
I wasn't sure how it would work out -- me letting go and just letting be. I mean, I'm used to the Rule of Thirds, composition, and flow. How am I going to survive a couple hours without seeing the LCD screen of my little clan? Will I be able to function without zooming in to see if our eyes are in focus?
We met Katie and Brandon at this funky, retro diner in Fountain Square in Indianapolis. Where my messiest eater decided to get barbecue ribs for dinner. What. Was. I. Thinking. For the life of me, I cannot figure out how we got out of that place unscathed (and unsauced), but we did. And from there, we strolled around this awesome neighborhood. It was the quaintest little place I've ever been. The buildings were full of character with their worn walls and peeling paint, old metal stairs and perfect doorways. We tucked into alleys, lined up along buildings, and sat in a row on the curb. Perfect. I didn't want formal poses and we weren't all in matchy-matchy outfits. I wanted our personalities to shine thru.
And they did. Just as I imagined.
As a mom to these kids, and a wife to their dad, it's easy for me to see what it is about each one of them that I adore. I love Taylor's giddiness. I love Brenden's soft-spoken ways. I love Harley's goofiness. And I love how Bryce is happy for no apparent reason. I love how Chris laughs at Family Guy when he's the only one in the room. I love that we just "get" each other. I love our inside jokes. I love us just being.
When I look at these pictures, I can see that. To feel that love between each other is one thing, but to see it -- and have others see it -- is incredible. I sent Katie a text when I received my disc of images and told her "I always knew what it felt like to love my family, but now I know what it looks like." My heart implodes with the love that this family shares. No, it's not easy all of the time, but it is easy most of the time. We have our battles, our trials and our bad days. But for the other 97% of our time together, what you see here -- the goofiness, the love, the contentment, the happiness -- is truly what you get when you're around us.
A "thank you" doesn't seem adequate enough for someone that has given me what Katie and Brandon has in these pictures. I couldn't name a price for what they bring to me, or what they mean. I can tell you that they'll be taking our pictures every year from here on out...and probably my children's wedding pictures. And this year, we'll have a picture with them IN IT...well, because they're just that important.
Thank you, Katie and Brandon.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010 Year in Review
When I'm older and think back to 2010, I'm pretty sure it'll be one of the Top Five years of my life. I don't think it has so much to do with the events that happened even though some great things happened in 2010. And I don't think it's about the places we went -- but we did get to go to some pretty cool places throughout the year. I think it was simply because of the shift that took place inside of me this year that I've written about so many times. I just became so content. Content with what I have. Content with what I don't have. Content in what I do. Content in it being Tuesday, not doing much of anything at all. Content is such a great feeling. Sure, I'm happy. But contentment is better than happiness in my opinion. Happiness is too much expectation, too hard to keep up, too much of a let down when you don't. Content is more real to me. Whether happy or sad, you can still be content.
2010 held alot for me personally. I did things in 2010 that I've never done before. I was the Team Mom for 12 screaming girls of Harley's cheer squad. It was fun in a crazy-chasing-girls-around kind of way. I was also the assistant Team Mom to Brenden's football team. Anyone who knows me, also knows of my fear of roller coasters. And not to be a Fraidy Cat in front of my 7-year old son, I rode a kid-sized roller coaster with him multiple, back-to-back times. Yeah, I know this isn't a huge deed notable especially for courage, but it was still monumental in the grand scheme of my yearly doings. On the downside of never-done-before things lies the inexplicable happening of deleting Bryce's birthday pictures. I know, right? But somehow, it happened. Big dislike. The other thing worthy of noting on the downside list would be backing into my husband's parked truck......twice. Yeah, never done that before -- well, I couldn't really say that the second time......
The year also held alot for us as a family. March held a grand event that the older kids had asked for for months -- as in, on their birthday wish lists. In May, I won a family pack of passes to Kings Island. We didn't get to go as much as I'd liked, but we still got to rot there a few days over the summer. June took us to Indianapolis where we had our first professional (ok, me with a self-timer does not constitute "professional") family portraits taken by a super-sweet couple. (I cannot believe I never blogged about this!?!???) We also took our first family vacation -- which included my in-laws. For 5 days in July we got all tourist-y in Gatlinburg, Tennessee where we took in the Upside-Down Museum, outlet malls, salt water taffy, go-karts, putt-putt, good 'ol southern barbecue and a purdy, panoramic vision of the Smokies.
I turned 34 this year and spent the night with a group of fantastic friends. Most of them my best friends. Ever since I was young, I have spent my birthday at the Bradford Pumpkin Show and insisted on spending the big 3-4 this way, too. And yes, I will spend next year's big day there as well. This birthday was pretty much the same as any other of the 33 I'd had, only this year I opted for birthday apple dumplings instead of a birthday cake, FTW!!
Thinking back on specific dates I can remember of 2010, only three pop into my mind. Obviously, the day we got married will forever be etched in my mind. But two more significant dates are left standing. I spent Labor Day consoling my husband after losing his mom unexpectedly at the age of 53. The days after that were gruesome and bittersweet and left me grateful for what we have. And October 24th, 2010 was the last day Chris coached Brenden's football team. Typically you wouldn't think it'd be a monumental date for me -- the supportive wife -- but it was. It's knowing that bittersweet feeling he had inside. Those kids on that team were like part of his family -- no, our family -- and knowing he won't see them on a day-to-day basis anymore nearly broke my heart for him. I see how he's positively impacted them. And I know he was one of the only good influences some of those kids had. That makes me sad for them.
I don't remember any big achievements of the year. Or failures. Actually, I don't really like that word because even the whole backing-into-the-husband's-parked-truck held a profound learning experience. And a lot of jokes.
Music has a funny way of attaching itself to certain years or parts of my life. There are events and years of my life that come rushing back to me when I hear a particular song. Guns 'n Roses' November Rain instantly makes me think of 1992. Aerosmith's Angel will always take me back to my junior high gym to my 8th grade spring dance. This year will be no exception. Every time I hear Like a G6 I will go back to this summer. Riding to and from football/cheer practice, trips to the mall, or the grocery store. I'd have my windows down and sunroof open, the sun would be on my face and I would be belting this song out at the top of my lungs. I didn't care who could hear me, it made me feel free and much younger than I really am. A friend of ours posted this one on Chris' Facebook page the day of my mother-in-laws memorial service. I had never really paid close attention to the lyrics of that song until then. And they were perfect. And, as much as it pains me to admit this, I will forever be able to close my eyes and hear my kids belting out this song from our basement. It also shames me to admit that I know the words to this song. Lame, but true.
All in all 2010 was a great year. I spent a lot of time watching Modern Family, The Office, 30 Rock and football. We spent the majority of our money on groceries. We cried some days and we laughed nearly everyday. Sometimes we laughed so hard we cried. We wouldn't trade any of it for anything. And this is why:
Kids: Created by us
Memories: Recorded by me 1/1/2010 - 12/31/2010
Music: Oh! (What a Glorious Thing) by Akira the Don
Love: Out there for the taking
2010 held alot for me personally. I did things in 2010 that I've never done before. I was the Team Mom for 12 screaming girls of Harley's cheer squad. It was fun in a crazy-chasing-girls-around kind of way. I was also the assistant Team Mom to Brenden's football team. Anyone who knows me, also knows of my fear of roller coasters. And not to be a Fraidy Cat in front of my 7-year old son, I rode a kid-sized roller coaster with him multiple, back-to-back times. Yeah, I know this isn't a huge deed notable especially for courage, but it was still monumental in the grand scheme of my yearly doings. On the downside of never-done-before things lies the inexplicable happening of deleting Bryce's birthday pictures. I know, right? But somehow, it happened. Big dislike. The other thing worthy of noting on the downside list would be backing into my husband's parked truck......twice. Yeah, never done that before -- well, I couldn't really say that the second time......
The year also held alot for us as a family. March held a grand event that the older kids had asked for for months -- as in, on their birthday wish lists. In May, I won a family pack of passes to Kings Island. We didn't get to go as much as I'd liked, but we still got to rot there a few days over the summer. June took us to Indianapolis where we had our first professional (ok, me with a self-timer does not constitute "professional") family portraits taken by a super-sweet couple. (I cannot believe I never blogged about this!?!???) We also took our first family vacation -- which included my in-laws. For 5 days in July we got all tourist-y in Gatlinburg, Tennessee where we took in the Upside-Down Museum, outlet malls, salt water taffy, go-karts, putt-putt, good 'ol southern barbecue and a purdy, panoramic vision of the Smokies.
I turned 34 this year and spent the night with a group of fantastic friends. Most of them my best friends. Ever since I was young, I have spent my birthday at the Bradford Pumpkin Show and insisted on spending the big 3-4 this way, too. And yes, I will spend next year's big day there as well. This birthday was pretty much the same as any other of the 33 I'd had, only this year I opted for birthday apple dumplings instead of a birthday cake, FTW!!
Thinking back on specific dates I can remember of 2010, only three pop into my mind. Obviously, the day we got married will forever be etched in my mind. But two more significant dates are left standing. I spent Labor Day consoling my husband after losing his mom unexpectedly at the age of 53. The days after that were gruesome and bittersweet and left me grateful for what we have. And October 24th, 2010 was the last day Chris coached Brenden's football team. Typically you wouldn't think it'd be a monumental date for me -- the supportive wife -- but it was. It's knowing that bittersweet feeling he had inside. Those kids on that team were like part of his family -- no, our family -- and knowing he won't see them on a day-to-day basis anymore nearly broke my heart for him. I see how he's positively impacted them. And I know he was one of the only good influences some of those kids had. That makes me sad for them.
I don't remember any big achievements of the year. Or failures. Actually, I don't really like that word because even the whole backing-into-the-husband's-parked-truck held a profound learning experience. And a lot of jokes.
Music has a funny way of attaching itself to certain years or parts of my life. There are events and years of my life that come rushing back to me when I hear a particular song. Guns 'n Roses' November Rain instantly makes me think of 1992. Aerosmith's Angel will always take me back to my junior high gym to my 8th grade spring dance. This year will be no exception. Every time I hear Like a G6 I will go back to this summer. Riding to and from football/cheer practice, trips to the mall, or the grocery store. I'd have my windows down and sunroof open, the sun would be on my face and I would be belting this song out at the top of my lungs. I didn't care who could hear me, it made me feel free and much younger than I really am. A friend of ours posted this one on Chris' Facebook page the day of my mother-in-laws memorial service. I had never really paid close attention to the lyrics of that song until then. And they were perfect. And, as much as it pains me to admit this, I will forever be able to close my eyes and hear my kids belting out this song from our basement. It also shames me to admit that I know the words to this song. Lame, but true.
All in all 2010 was a great year. I spent a lot of time watching Modern Family, The Office, 30 Rock and football. We spent the majority of our money on groceries. We cried some days and we laughed nearly everyday. Sometimes we laughed so hard we cried. We wouldn't trade any of it for anything. And this is why:
Kids: Created by us
Memories: Recorded by me 1/1/2010 - 12/31/2010
Music: Oh! (What a Glorious Thing) by Akira the Don
Love: Out there for the taking
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Office, schmoffice.
So, every day I check out my blog stats to track how many visitors, where are they from, etc. I'm pretty sure if I didn't have proof that people actually READ this blog (before my blog stats, the only way for me to know people read it, is if they leave a comment. I get virtually no comments. Just sayin'....) anyway, if I didn't have proof that people read this thing, I probably wouldn't keep updating it.
But, I have quite a following -- or so I've found out. I have people over in England (Hi Ashley!) and in Wichita, KS (Hi Jennifer!), someone in Fort Worth, Texas, Mountain View, California, Georgia, Indiana and Kentucky. I have readers from my old company, Mead, and some photographer friends I've just met. My best friend's mom in Florida reads it nearly every day and Aunt Leah will read it as long as I promise not to make her cry. My clients follow my blog and so do my friends and family.
In fact, if it were up to my friends and family, they'd make me write a book. I'm not so sure what I have to say is that important but it could definitely fall under the "entertaining" section. For sure. I mean what else would you call shooting out car windows with BB guns or getting peas stuck up your nose?
So imagine my surprise when I checked my log this morning and found this:
But, I have quite a following -- or so I've found out. I have people over in England (Hi Ashley!) and in Wichita, KS (Hi Jennifer!), someone in Fort Worth, Texas, Mountain View, California, Georgia, Indiana and Kentucky. I have readers from my old company, Mead, and some photographer friends I've just met. My best friend's mom in Florida reads it nearly every day and Aunt Leah will read it as long as I promise not to make her cry. My clients follow my blog and so do my friends and family.
In fact, if it were up to my friends and family, they'd make me write a book. I'm not so sure what I have to say is that important but it could definitely fall under the "entertaining" section. For sure. I mean what else would you call shooting out car windows with BB guns or getting peas stuck up your nose?
So imagine my surprise when I checked my log this morning and found this:
But I will admit that, for a small millisecond, it did make me feel pretty good. Short-lived, but it was there.
And while I'm at it, a big "Thank You" to everyone that stopped in check out what I had to say over the course of 2010. It's ok to leave a comment, too, while you're here....say hi, tell me I spelled something wrong, or what you had for lunch! I don't care. I just love hearing from you.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Oops
I still get giddy when it comes to Christmas. Giddy, like a four-year-old, laying in front of the Christmas tree, staring at the gifts as if I would be able to tell what was inside of them with my supertoddler x-ray vision.
I love the excitement of wondering what is inside of each box, delicately wrapped and lovingly tagged "To: Mom". When Taylor was able to start reading, I would tag some of the gifts from funny people. "From: Dora". "From: Scooby Doo". "From: Drake and Josh"......Spongebob......Your Crazy Mom. It's even carried over to Chris and the boys now. "From: Old Lady", ChickenHead (that's what Bryce used to call me all the time), Beyonce, The Cook, The Maid...and on and on and on. It's so funny to watch their faces when they see who it's from. And they must've caught on...I have one under the tree this year from "BooBoo".
And since we've been together, Chris and I have been pretty lax with each other's gifts. There are quite a few gifts that we know about from the other. But, there are a few that we like to keep secret until Christmas morning. You know how it goes -- you're out shopping together and see something that you like, and they respond with the "Ok, get it. But you'll have to wait until Christmas to have it." deal. That's how it was with my luggage set this year, and Chris' digital tape measure.
And kinda what happened with my coffee mug.
I say "kinda" because it was more like an accident than an intentional thing.
He was working away up in his office. I was working away down in mine. He yelled down to me "Did you order anything for $36??"
"No", I said. "Nothing."
"You didn't order anything for $36 from Photojojo?? Are you sure? Come up here and look," he hollered.
When it hit me.
I had sent him a link a few weeks prior for a coffee mug that I had put on my Christmas list. It had to be that.
By the time I had gotten to the top of the stairs and rounded the corner to his office, I had a huge smile plastered across my face. I looked at him, grinned, and he looked back at me all clueless-like.
"The coffee mug I had on my Christmas list was from Photojojo," I said. His clueless look was quickly replaced with a "aw-man-you-weren't-supposed-to-know" look.
"Oops," he said, followed by a smirking "Merry Christmas, babe".
A few days later, a box came in the mail with my "oops" Christmas gift. Since I already knew what it was, Chris let me open it. But, then I had to wrap it and "can't have it until Christmas".
I love the excitement of wondering what is inside of each box, delicately wrapped and lovingly tagged "To: Mom". When Taylor was able to start reading, I would tag some of the gifts from funny people. "From: Dora". "From: Scooby Doo". "From: Drake and Josh"......Spongebob......Your Crazy Mom. It's even carried over to Chris and the boys now. "From: Old Lady", ChickenHead (that's what Bryce used to call me all the time), Beyonce, The Cook, The Maid...and on and on and on. It's so funny to watch their faces when they see who it's from. And they must've caught on...I have one under the tree this year from "BooBoo".
And since we've been together, Chris and I have been pretty lax with each other's gifts. There are quite a few gifts that we know about from the other. But, there are a few that we like to keep secret until Christmas morning. You know how it goes -- you're out shopping together and see something that you like, and they respond with the "Ok, get it. But you'll have to wait until Christmas to have it." deal. That's how it was with my luggage set this year, and Chris' digital tape measure.
And kinda what happened with my coffee mug.
I say "kinda" because it was more like an accident than an intentional thing.
He was working away up in his office. I was working away down in mine. He yelled down to me "Did you order anything for $36??"
"No", I said. "Nothing."
"You didn't order anything for $36 from Photojojo?? Are you sure? Come up here and look," he hollered.
When it hit me.
I had sent him a link a few weeks prior for a coffee mug that I had put on my Christmas list. It had to be that.
By the time I had gotten to the top of the stairs and rounded the corner to his office, I had a huge smile plastered across my face. I looked at him, grinned, and he looked back at me all clueless-like.
"The coffee mug I had on my Christmas list was from Photojojo," I said. His clueless look was quickly replaced with a "aw-man-you-weren't-supposed-to-know" look.
"Oops," he said, followed by a smirking "Merry Christmas, babe".
A few days later, a box came in the mail with my "oops" Christmas gift. Since I already knew what it was, Chris let me open it. But, then I had to wrap it and "can't have it until Christmas".
Saturday, December 18, 2010
The lady at the supermarket
I was in a hurry.
I had just enough time to get in and out of the store with the necessities written on the post-it pad in my mind.
a book for Harley's exchange at school
bread crumbs
cheese
chicken
I grabbed a cart and barreled towards the book aisle in the back of the store. My quick pace had me dodging in and out of aisles, nearly running over a wandering three-year-old by the jewelry counter.
I hurriedly picked out a book and went on my way. As I tore around the corner, standing there in front of the cough syrup, I saw her.
Her scarf caught my eye. It was a square of red and blue paisley with fringe around the edges. She had folded it in half to form a triangle, wrapped it around her head, and delicately tied it underneath her chin. Her long, dirty, white hair hung from under it as if it were mocking the fringe.
Over her layers of sweaters and sweatshirts, she wore a brown coat. From the obvious cracks and peeling on the outside, you could tell it was made of something other than genuine leather. Her sweatshirt hood peeked out from the collar and her soiled, cream colored, cable-knit sweater hung from the bottom. She had black sweat pants on -- at least two sizes too small an a hole in one knee -- no socks and grey sneakers. Her shoes were so worn that the soles were an inch thicker on the outside of her shoe than inside by the arch.
She was pushing her own two-wheeled cart. You could see paper bags arranged neatly under the clear plastic wrapped around it and her two bungee cords kept everything from shifting around.
Her face was round and her skin was aged. Her face attired wrinkles and a kind, content smile. She glanced at me, with her tender eyes, as if I broke her concentration, flashed a smile, and quickly went back to her task at hand.
There was a stack of coupons in her gloved hand. If I had to guess there were probably 50 of them in her stack. One by one, she'd take them off the top, find the medicine pictured on it, and place the coupon behind the price tag on the shelf. She was close to me at the end of the aisle and when she moved to the opposite end, to find the Advil Liquigels, I could see the mass amounts of coupons tucked down the shelves. There had to have been at least 3o, maybe 40, coupons sticking up like tiny white flags.
I watched her for a few more seconds, as she wrapped up the medicine aisle, carefully placing the coupon where the next lucky shopper could spot it. And as she walked away, I noticed her feet peeking out of the soles of her shoes.
And in those 20 seconds it took her to walk out of my sight, I felt it wave over me like a broken dam.
Here is this sweet, little, old lady putting coupons on products that she couldn't afford and had no intentions of buying. Just so someone else could reap the benefits. People she didn't know. People who would never know it was her that put them there. She probably didn't have a family to go home to. Or kids that cared that she wasn't wearing socks in her hole-soled shoes in the middle of winter. Instead of worrying about what she was going to fix for dinner, she was probably worried about where she was going to FIND dinner.
I continued on through the store with a heavy heart. I felt bad for her.
She looked absolutely content with what she was doing, and the simple pleasure of exchanging hellos with the passersby in the store. So why did I feel so bad for her? Was it because she hadn't had a warm shower? Or company while she was shopping? Was it because she was helping someone else -- people she didn't even know -- save a $1 on Nyquil?
I get so wrapped up in thinking that I have it so bad. Wishing personal relationships with people were different than what the are, having to deal with bad behavior from a 9 year old, burning the chicken casserole or backing into my husband's parked truck in the driveway. When, really, it isn't that bad at all. I could easily have it so much worse.
I don't know the sorrow of burying my husband of 53 years, or to be bedside next to my dying child with cancer. I don't know the emptiness of having a loved one fighting in a war.
I'm sure it's only human to lose sight of what you do have only to focus on what you don't have or how bad it might be from time-to-time. I'm sure I'm not alone in this either. You get so busy with day-to-day life...work, school, kids, schedules, bills, laundry and on and on....that before long you find yourself in a place that has no roses to stop and smell. Even if you are a positive person, you find yourself blanketed in negativity. Everything has become so convenient for us with our iPhone apps, take-out dinners, and DVR that we take so much for granted. In a way, we just expect it to be there and be perfect. And then when it's not, we act as though the world has fallen out from under our feet.
Our feet with hole-less shoes and clean socks.
So thank you, lady in the supermarket, for reminding me to count my blessings today and actually being grateful for them.
I had just enough time to get in and out of the store with the necessities written on the post-it pad in my mind.
a book for Harley's exchange at school
bread crumbs
cheese
chicken
I grabbed a cart and barreled towards the book aisle in the back of the store. My quick pace had me dodging in and out of aisles, nearly running over a wandering three-year-old by the jewelry counter.
I hurriedly picked out a book and went on my way. As I tore around the corner, standing there in front of the cough syrup, I saw her.
Her scarf caught my eye. It was a square of red and blue paisley with fringe around the edges. She had folded it in half to form a triangle, wrapped it around her head, and delicately tied it underneath her chin. Her long, dirty, white hair hung from under it as if it were mocking the fringe.
Over her layers of sweaters and sweatshirts, she wore a brown coat. From the obvious cracks and peeling on the outside, you could tell it was made of something other than genuine leather. Her sweatshirt hood peeked out from the collar and her soiled, cream colored, cable-knit sweater hung from the bottom. She had black sweat pants on -- at least two sizes too small an a hole in one knee -- no socks and grey sneakers. Her shoes were so worn that the soles were an inch thicker on the outside of her shoe than inside by the arch.
She was pushing her own two-wheeled cart. You could see paper bags arranged neatly under the clear plastic wrapped around it and her two bungee cords kept everything from shifting around.
Her face was round and her skin was aged. Her face attired wrinkles and a kind, content smile. She glanced at me, with her tender eyes, as if I broke her concentration, flashed a smile, and quickly went back to her task at hand.
There was a stack of coupons in her gloved hand. If I had to guess there were probably 50 of them in her stack. One by one, she'd take them off the top, find the medicine pictured on it, and place the coupon behind the price tag on the shelf. She was close to me at the end of the aisle and when she moved to the opposite end, to find the Advil Liquigels, I could see the mass amounts of coupons tucked down the shelves. There had to have been at least 3o, maybe 40, coupons sticking up like tiny white flags.
I watched her for a few more seconds, as she wrapped up the medicine aisle, carefully placing the coupon where the next lucky shopper could spot it. And as she walked away, I noticed her feet peeking out of the soles of her shoes.
And in those 20 seconds it took her to walk out of my sight, I felt it wave over me like a broken dam.
Here is this sweet, little, old lady putting coupons on products that she couldn't afford and had no intentions of buying. Just so someone else could reap the benefits. People she didn't know. People who would never know it was her that put them there. She probably didn't have a family to go home to. Or kids that cared that she wasn't wearing socks in her hole-soled shoes in the middle of winter. Instead of worrying about what she was going to fix for dinner, she was probably worried about where she was going to FIND dinner.
I continued on through the store with a heavy heart. I felt bad for her.
She looked absolutely content with what she was doing, and the simple pleasure of exchanging hellos with the passersby in the store. So why did I feel so bad for her? Was it because she hadn't had a warm shower? Or company while she was shopping? Was it because she was helping someone else -- people she didn't even know -- save a $1 on Nyquil?
I get so wrapped up in thinking that I have it so bad. Wishing personal relationships with people were different than what the are, having to deal with bad behavior from a 9 year old, burning the chicken casserole or backing into my husband's parked truck in the driveway. When, really, it isn't that bad at all. I could easily have it so much worse.
I don't know the sorrow of burying my husband of 53 years, or to be bedside next to my dying child with cancer. I don't know the emptiness of having a loved one fighting in a war.
I'm sure it's only human to lose sight of what you do have only to focus on what you don't have or how bad it might be from time-to-time. I'm sure I'm not alone in this either. You get so busy with day-to-day life...work, school, kids, schedules, bills, laundry and on and on....that before long you find yourself in a place that has no roses to stop and smell. Even if you are a positive person, you find yourself blanketed in negativity. Everything has become so convenient for us with our iPhone apps, take-out dinners, and DVR that we take so much for granted. In a way, we just expect it to be there and be perfect. And then when it's not, we act as though the world has fallen out from under our feet.
Our feet with hole-less shoes and clean socks.
So thank you, lady in the supermarket, for reminding me to count my blessings today and actually being grateful for them.
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