Sure, I have a mom and dad who are responsible for creating me. But, my mom died when I was a freshman in high school and my dad......well, let's just say he chose not to be around. But I have never suffered by the losses. I've never felt short-changed or cheated.
Because of these 'other' people in my life.
I may not have had my parents in the latter part of my life, but I am fortunate enough to have amazing grandparents -- who have been my parental role models much of my life. I am trying to instill values into my own children that my grandparents molded me by. I want my kids to be thankful for what they have and to not take anything for granted. I want them to appreciate a hard earned dollar. I want the girls to learn to sew and the boys to learn to cook. I want them to learn that discipline will get you everywhere and dishonesty will get you nowhere. I want them to know that manners are monumental. I want them to know, truly KNOW, that our love is unconditional. These are the things I'm teaching my kids because my grandparents took the time to teach me.
I have an Aunt that isn't "technically" my mom or dad's sister, but yet was trusted enough to let me stay long country summers with her and her family. Aunt Leah has guided me thru much of my life -- the good, the bad, the easy or the difficult -- without expecting much in return. She held my hand thru my parents divorce and thru my own divorce. She spoke encouraging words as I nervously sat getting my ears pierced at the age of twelve, and encouraged me to follow my artistic dreams at the age of 25. She has taught me how to be patient with my own kids by being patient with me when I broke her living room lamp when I was ten. I try to emulate her patience and her open mindedness. She inspired me to set my own bar high and has been the catalyst in my zest for an adventurous life. Both individually, and as a parent.
I have incredible friends who are called "aunt" and "uncle" by my kids. They rough-house together, play football together, they share secrets and shopping trips. They fall alseep in their laps and do that armpit/farting thing together. They laugh. They laugh until there are tears. They are loved. They are loved until it oozes from the pores on their dirty, little faces.
There have been teachers that have mentored me without ever stepping a foot into their classroom.
There are band directors that have taught me how to "pay it forward" to those less fortunate.
And there were lifeguards that were my "family" if only for 90 hot, summer days. At a time in my life when the term 'family' was confusing enough...divorces, adoptions.....it was a struggle to fit in. Yet, Randy and Lisa and their little, big family of lifeguards made you feel like that's just where you belonged.
It were those summers that taught me the most about "family", about being accepted for WHO you were and not WHAT you were, and about support. It was that group of neighboring town transplants that all had common ground around an L shaped swimming pool. It didn't matter what school you went to, or who your boyfriend was. "They were brother's that picked on you, sisters that leaned on you and a mom that ran the show....." They proved that friendships get stronger year after year, and bonds remain strong years after you moved on to "real" jobs.
The Anderson's were the core of that summer family. 4 people that poured their heart and soul into the community watering hole. 4 people that made that place my "home"....complete with a screen door slamming and a mom that yelled at you when it did.
They have always held a special place in my heart....like family should.A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from the Anderson family. They needed family pictures and I was honored to do it. Heather's sister, Holly, was in from Florida so she figured that was the perfect time to gather the families.
I believe that being related doesn't neccessarily make you family, and just because you aren't related, doesn't mean you're not.
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