Do I take it as a sign???

The last few days my inbox has been crammed full of spam. Typically, I don't pay much mind to it and just delete it if I don't recognize who it's from (or it's not website related). But lately, I've really been paying attention to the subject line. I'm really starting to think that someone is trying to show me a sign of what I should do. Or maybe someone is just playing a sick joke on me?

Ha Ha. The joke is over already.

Remember in the movie Bruce Almighty when Bruce is sitting at his computer and tries to answer everyone's prayers by email? THAT'S what I feel like is going on here. Except I feel like it's God sitting at the computer sending me all this spam just to point me in the right direction.

See what I mean:



"I found you a new job"....."WORK FROM HOME!"....."Ready to quit your J.O.B.?".....business cards.....Granted, I can't really explain the AARP one -- not even sure how I got that one. I've been to Photography School so you can cross that off. And I always wanted to be in forensics until I learned I had a weak stomach. And of course, who wouldn't love an extra $3,000 or a new washer and dryer. (I'm not even going to touch the "1 carat diamond ring" one -- Chris, you're safe...for now.)

Those of you who know me, know that I've had this internal struggle for some time now of "do I go full-time with my photography business or not". It's a scary place and an exciting place all at one time. It's a big change to go from a steady paycheck to....not. Don't get me wrong...I like my Corporate America Big Company job but it's nothing I want to make a career out of. And I love the people there. My co-workers, my boss...they've all been very good to me. I just feel like I'm wasting my talent by going in there day in and day out. Like I'm doing myself a huge disservice by not following my passion. Photography makes me happy. I absolutely love putting a smile on my client's faces.

I've weighed every side of it and have listed the pros and cons about 6 different times. Yes, it'd be awesome to work from home....in my pj's if I wanted to. It'd be great to make my own schedule -- take time off whenever I needed it. And let's not even start on what it would do for my family! That's a list in it's own right. But then, the doubt creeps in....do I have what it takes? Can I do it? If I build it will they come?

I'm finally in a place where just about everyone in my life is behind me on this (all but my Grandma who has been thru the recession and saw firsthand how hard the economy can be). Chris has been a godsend to me where my business -- and life -- is concerned. He sees the passion I have for this and how each shoot makes me giddy. And he supports that with no equivocations. He encourages me to pursue it and believes in me. Same thing for Heather. "...it has nothing to do with believing. I KNOW you can", she said. Even Martha has said "even when I don't think you can amaze me any more, you do".

I'm busier now than I ever have been and haven't done the first lick of advertising so far. So, my thinking is, if I'm this busy now...what would it be like if I were to advertise?!

Everything is just pointing one way.

So, I'm going to follow it.

Starting August 1st, I will be what I've always dreamed of being. A photographer. And with that comes a promise to my family, a promise to my friends, and a promise to myself. I WILL make my dream my reality. I will work hard at building my business and balancing my new found career with my home. I will be smart about making decisions and disciplined to bear the load. I promise to keep refining my creativity and challenge myself to stay fresh. I will continue to educate myself and learn from those before me.

Starting today, the fear subsides and excitement takes over. I have faith that everything will come full circle and I will get out of it what I've put into it. Because this is MY dream. And I'm going to live it.